Authority Over the Darkness
"For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness" 1 Thessalonians 5:5 (ESV)
I am a leader in a women's ministry on my campus called Delight and each week we read and discuss different stories from women all over the country. Delight believes in the power of the stories we each live and how our stories can affect and grow each other deeper in a relationship with the Lord.
This week, the story was about a girl named Caroline who found herself in a time of complete and utter darkness. Without even knowing why, somehow she slipped into a depression-like state and could no longer see the light. She didn't feel that the darkness would end; she couldn't see a way out.
There is so much darkness in this world. It comes with the territory. Fear is a fact of life. Most of us live in almost constant fear and we don't even know it. That's the scary part, we don't even know we are in a battle; we don't even know the hold the enemy has on us.
For a long time I struggled with some darkness in my life. Fear. I've never been the kind of person who likes to be alone, but I never recognized it as a bad thing. But all of a sudden, I realized that I couldn't go into a store by myself because I was too afraid. There was this fear inside me that held me back from going to the counter at a restaurant and asking for an extra spoon. You think I'm kidding and it sounds a bit ridiculous, but that is how I felt. Taking the initiative to go talk to someone I didn't know was terrifying to me; paralyzing fear.
My junior year in high school, I released my first real "album" to the world. I had an album release concert, which, of course, meant rehearsals with a band, etc. I knew most of the band members and they were all people who really cared about me and loved me. And yet, there was a paralyzing fear over me at every rehearsal. Something was telling me, "You aren't good enough, your voice doesn't matter, you have no authority here." I don't use the word "paralyzing" lightly either; I would freeze. The fear was gripping and unrelenting.
I also found myself getting very anxious and overwhelmed very easily. Especially with school work. Again, I just recognized it as part of my personality. I didn't realize the hold it had on my life. I looked at a large project or paper and was so overwhelmed that I would just sit and stare at it. I remember sitting in my bed in high school countless nights, starting my homework at 10pm and then STARTING my homework at 1am because I could not bring myself to just start typing. I didn't know where to start or what to do so I just didn't start.
This anxiety gripped more parts of my life then I may even be aware of.
This fear became apparent my senior year in high school, and I began telling myself that I had social anxiety disorder. It started as a joke, but I began to believe it. I couldn't do anything by myself. If I didn't have someone to ride with to the party so I didn't have to walk in alone, I wouldn't go. If my friend didn't want to go with me to Target, I wouldn't go. It got so bad, that at one point, I would gather the stuff I wanted from the store, and then hand my friend my wallet so that she could talk to the check out person for me and I would stand behind her and try not to make eye contact.
I remember one night sitting at the dinner table and my mom was telling stories about when I was really young and how I was always loud and outgoing and wanted to make people laugh and at some point something just switched. I was shy and would tell jokes and then cry if someone laughed, because I felt they were no longer laughing with me, but at me. My mom then said some very wise words that I really did not want to hear at the time. She said, "Erin, I don't know what happened, but I really believe that is a stronghold that you need to break."
At the time, I was so put off by those words. In my heart, I believed that I was made that way, that my personality was flawed and that I would have to deal with it and learn to cope.
It all became extremely real when I went to a worship conference that summer. It was the same worship conference I had gone to for two summers before and I knew exactly what I was getting into and yet, something was different this year. I couldn't function. I was gripped with fear wherever I went, just not wanting to be seen. The amount of times I spoke "social anxiety" over myself that week was more than I'd like to admit. I had accepted it into my personality and had pretty much welcomed it with open arms (At the time I thought I had no choice).
Every night, we had worship for two hours. One night when Bryan and Katie Towalt were leading, Bryan spoke into the microphone and said that he felt there were people in the room who needed healing. I was excited to see the Lord move (for someone else, not for me).
He said, "There is someone in the room suffering from anxiety."
For someone with (self-proclaimed) social anxiety, being called out in a crowd is not a fun experience. I definitely did not want to be prayed over. All I could think was, No no no no, is he talking to me? He can't be, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor or anything, it's not me, it's not me.
Then he said, "Maybe you haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but it's crippling you."
That's when I knew, It was me. He was talking about me.
That night, I was healed of social anxiety. Healed of the fear to walk up to the counter and ask for a spoon. Healed of the anxiety of shopping by myself. It was an amazing encounter with my Father's love for me; wanting to heal me of things I didn't even know I needed healing from; Something I had accepted as fact, as a flaw in my personality, He saw as chains He wanted to free me of.
But now, being a couple years out from that experience, I see that there is far more fear inside of me than just social anxiety. I have all sorts of anxiety. And it creeps back in pretty easily when I let it.
This year I've started to notice a pattern. Anxiety and fear melt away in the presence of the Lord. You don't have to fight it, you don't have to kick and scream, you don't have to beg for it to go away, it flees. Because light casts out the darkness. It's simple.
This year I've started to pay attention to that anxious feeling I get in the pit of my stomach, and instead of trying to be strong and fight it, or ignore it and hide it within myself, I take it to my Father and it melts away.
This week, as I walked over to University Ministries to prepare for Delight, I was praying that the Lord would surprise me, and man, did he do just that.
As we were sitting, discussing Caroline's story and talking about our authority over the darkness, I was reminded of my deep-seeded fear. I was going back to those nights when I was far too old to be afraid, and yet, somehow almost every night, I found myself paralyzed with fear and trying my best to sneak into my sister's bed without waking her. My parents didn't know what to do with me, I should have been over that stage by then.
There was something in me that didn't want to admit my fear; I wanted to ignore it, I hoped it would magically go away. It didn't.
One night I remember my dad coming into my room before I went to bed and asking me why I was afraid. I tried to explain it, but I was ashamed of my fear. I knew it wasn't rational and yet it was so real to me. I didn't want my dad to think less of me because I was afraid. I wanted to be strong, but I just couldn't.
I remember he got up from my bed and like every good father does, he looked in my closet to make sure there were no monsters (or kidnappers) in there, He looked under my bed, and he looked behind my door. But then he did something else. He walked around my room and said, "Satan, you have no power here in the name of Jesus Christ. You have no power over Erin, and you have to flee in the name of Jesus Christ."
Because my dad had checked my closet and had looked under the bed, I felt safe again. Each night for a couple of nights, before I went to bed, again, in fear, I would ask my dad to come in and tell Satan to leave again, because I was scared of him! My dad did that for a couple nights and it seemed to be working.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream. Once again, I found myself paralyzed in fear. I sat up on my bed, trying to decide how much trouble I would be in if I just snuck into my sister's room for one more night. But then, I remembered the words that my dad had spoken, and all of a sudden, it hit me.
If my dad has power over the darkness, then maybe I do too.
I turned on the lights and opened my closet doors wide and with a shaky voice I said, "Satan, you have no power here in the name of Jesus Christ. LEAVE!" In that moment, I commanded Satan to leave my room. I declared that he had no power over me, and I started to believe it. Because if my dad has power over the darkness, I do too.
That truth hit me like a ton of bricks on Friday morning. Satan only has power over us if we let him. We don't have to fight the darkness to leave, we only have to bring in the light. We only have to assert the authority given to us by our Father. We only have to tell Satan, "My Dad is upstairs, and he'll come get you if you don't leave right now."
Fear is not from the Lord. If there is fear in you that you have accepted as a part of "who you are", those are LIES. How many times in the Bible does it say, "Do not be afraid." Fear is not God's heart for you. Don't give Satan power over you. Don't believe the lies that say, "that's just part of life," or "that's just who you are."
Fear is not who you are.
Fear has no place in the presence of the Lord.
Don't tell God how big your fear is, tell your fear how big your God is.
Your Dad already checked the closet, and under the bed, and behind the door. There is no more reason to fear.
You have authority over the darkness, because your Father has given it to you. He will protect you; He made you for adventure and joy and courage and life. Do not let Satan paralyze you. Do not let darkness remain, because light casts out darkness.
"The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" Romans 13:12
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." 1 John 1:5
I am a leader in a women's ministry on my campus called Delight and each week we read and discuss different stories from women all over the country. Delight believes in the power of the stories we each live and how our stories can affect and grow each other deeper in a relationship with the Lord.
This week, the story was about a girl named Caroline who found herself in a time of complete and utter darkness. Without even knowing why, somehow she slipped into a depression-like state and could no longer see the light. She didn't feel that the darkness would end; she couldn't see a way out.
There is so much darkness in this world. It comes with the territory. Fear is a fact of life. Most of us live in almost constant fear and we don't even know it. That's the scary part, we don't even know we are in a battle; we don't even know the hold the enemy has on us.
For a long time I struggled with some darkness in my life. Fear. I've never been the kind of person who likes to be alone, but I never recognized it as a bad thing. But all of a sudden, I realized that I couldn't go into a store by myself because I was too afraid. There was this fear inside me that held me back from going to the counter at a restaurant and asking for an extra spoon. You think I'm kidding and it sounds a bit ridiculous, but that is how I felt. Taking the initiative to go talk to someone I didn't know was terrifying to me; paralyzing fear.
My junior year in high school, I released my first real "album" to the world. I had an album release concert, which, of course, meant rehearsals with a band, etc. I knew most of the band members and they were all people who really cared about me and loved me. And yet, there was a paralyzing fear over me at every rehearsal. Something was telling me, "You aren't good enough, your voice doesn't matter, you have no authority here." I don't use the word "paralyzing" lightly either; I would freeze. The fear was gripping and unrelenting.
I also found myself getting very anxious and overwhelmed very easily. Especially with school work. Again, I just recognized it as part of my personality. I didn't realize the hold it had on my life. I looked at a large project or paper and was so overwhelmed that I would just sit and stare at it. I remember sitting in my bed in high school countless nights, starting my homework at 10pm and then STARTING my homework at 1am because I could not bring myself to just start typing. I didn't know where to start or what to do so I just didn't start.
This anxiety gripped more parts of my life then I may even be aware of.
This fear became apparent my senior year in high school, and I began telling myself that I had social anxiety disorder. It started as a joke, but I began to believe it. I couldn't do anything by myself. If I didn't have someone to ride with to the party so I didn't have to walk in alone, I wouldn't go. If my friend didn't want to go with me to Target, I wouldn't go. It got so bad, that at one point, I would gather the stuff I wanted from the store, and then hand my friend my wallet so that she could talk to the check out person for me and I would stand behind her and try not to make eye contact.
I remember one night sitting at the dinner table and my mom was telling stories about when I was really young and how I was always loud and outgoing and wanted to make people laugh and at some point something just switched. I was shy and would tell jokes and then cry if someone laughed, because I felt they were no longer laughing with me, but at me. My mom then said some very wise words that I really did not want to hear at the time. She said, "Erin, I don't know what happened, but I really believe that is a stronghold that you need to break."
At the time, I was so put off by those words. In my heart, I believed that I was made that way, that my personality was flawed and that I would have to deal with it and learn to cope.
It all became extremely real when I went to a worship conference that summer. It was the same worship conference I had gone to for two summers before and I knew exactly what I was getting into and yet, something was different this year. I couldn't function. I was gripped with fear wherever I went, just not wanting to be seen. The amount of times I spoke "social anxiety" over myself that week was more than I'd like to admit. I had accepted it into my personality and had pretty much welcomed it with open arms (At the time I thought I had no choice).
Every night, we had worship for two hours. One night when Bryan and Katie Towalt were leading, Bryan spoke into the microphone and said that he felt there were people in the room who needed healing. I was excited to see the Lord move (for someone else, not for me).
He said, "There is someone in the room suffering from anxiety."
For someone with (self-proclaimed) social anxiety, being called out in a crowd is not a fun experience. I definitely did not want to be prayed over. All I could think was, No no no no, is he talking to me? He can't be, I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor or anything, it's not me, it's not me.
Then he said, "Maybe you haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but it's crippling you."
That's when I knew, It was me. He was talking about me.
That night, I was healed of social anxiety. Healed of the fear to walk up to the counter and ask for a spoon. Healed of the anxiety of shopping by myself. It was an amazing encounter with my Father's love for me; wanting to heal me of things I didn't even know I needed healing from; Something I had accepted as fact, as a flaw in my personality, He saw as chains He wanted to free me of.
But now, being a couple years out from that experience, I see that there is far more fear inside of me than just social anxiety. I have all sorts of anxiety. And it creeps back in pretty easily when I let it.
This year I've started to notice a pattern. Anxiety and fear melt away in the presence of the Lord. You don't have to fight it, you don't have to kick and scream, you don't have to beg for it to go away, it flees. Because light casts out the darkness. It's simple.
This year I've started to pay attention to that anxious feeling I get in the pit of my stomach, and instead of trying to be strong and fight it, or ignore it and hide it within myself, I take it to my Father and it melts away.
This week, as I walked over to University Ministries to prepare for Delight, I was praying that the Lord would surprise me, and man, did he do just that.
As we were sitting, discussing Caroline's story and talking about our authority over the darkness, I was reminded of my deep-seeded fear. I was going back to those nights when I was far too old to be afraid, and yet, somehow almost every night, I found myself paralyzed with fear and trying my best to sneak into my sister's bed without waking her. My parents didn't know what to do with me, I should have been over that stage by then.
There was something in me that didn't want to admit my fear; I wanted to ignore it, I hoped it would magically go away. It didn't.
One night I remember my dad coming into my room before I went to bed and asking me why I was afraid. I tried to explain it, but I was ashamed of my fear. I knew it wasn't rational and yet it was so real to me. I didn't want my dad to think less of me because I was afraid. I wanted to be strong, but I just couldn't.
I remember he got up from my bed and like every good father does, he looked in my closet to make sure there were no monsters (or kidnappers) in there, He looked under my bed, and he looked behind my door. But then he did something else. He walked around my room and said, "Satan, you have no power here in the name of Jesus Christ. You have no power over Erin, and you have to flee in the name of Jesus Christ."
Because my dad had checked my closet and had looked under the bed, I felt safe again. Each night for a couple of nights, before I went to bed, again, in fear, I would ask my dad to come in and tell Satan to leave again, because I was scared of him! My dad did that for a couple nights and it seemed to be working.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night from a dream. Once again, I found myself paralyzed in fear. I sat up on my bed, trying to decide how much trouble I would be in if I just snuck into my sister's room for one more night. But then, I remembered the words that my dad had spoken, and all of a sudden, it hit me.
If my dad has power over the darkness, then maybe I do too.
I turned on the lights and opened my closet doors wide and with a shaky voice I said, "Satan, you have no power here in the name of Jesus Christ. LEAVE!" In that moment, I commanded Satan to leave my room. I declared that he had no power over me, and I started to believe it. Because if my dad has power over the darkness, I do too.
That truth hit me like a ton of bricks on Friday morning. Satan only has power over us if we let him. We don't have to fight the darkness to leave, we only have to bring in the light. We only have to assert the authority given to us by our Father. We only have to tell Satan, "My Dad is upstairs, and he'll come get you if you don't leave right now."
Fear is not from the Lord. If there is fear in you that you have accepted as a part of "who you are", those are LIES. How many times in the Bible does it say, "Do not be afraid." Fear is not God's heart for you. Don't give Satan power over you. Don't believe the lies that say, "that's just part of life," or "that's just who you are."
Fear is not who you are.
Fear has no place in the presence of the Lord.
Don't tell God how big your fear is, tell your fear how big your God is.
Your Dad already checked the closet, and under the bed, and behind the door. There is no more reason to fear.
You have authority over the darkness, because your Father has given it to you. He will protect you; He made you for adventure and joy and courage and life. Do not let Satan paralyze you. Do not let darkness remain, because light casts out darkness.
"The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light" Romans 13:12
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." 1 John 1:5
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